Get better in bed! Subscribe to receive the weekly blog in your inbox!

What is Pegging?

Pegging is the act where a woman penetrates a man with a strap-on dildo. It is, in this case, important to highlight gender as it is a gendered act, and the absence of the top being a woman and the bottom being a man would change the labelling. Nearly 60% of men admit fantasising about being a recipient (Lehmiller, 2020); however, only 16% of active adults have actually tried it, and 79% of men said they would be embarrassed about asking a female partner to play with their anus. This blog covers some of the reasons people enjoy it (including my own), how to do it, and tips to make the most out of the experience including equipment.

Why do people enjoy Pegging?

So why might people enjoy it? Many reasons, from the physical stimulation to the exchange of power to the opportunity to play into various other common kinks such as humiliation, praise, forced bi, and more. I’m not even going to acknowledge the ‘Does it make them gay’ debate because, frankly, paying attention to that as an argument suggests that it matters, which it does not. Some people enjoy having their prostate stimulated; considering it is full of pleasure receptors, I certainly would, too, if I were them. I love entering someone, man, woman or otherwise. it’s a new level of intimacy, vulnerability and trust; being inside someone (even with a strap) feels like the ultimate connection, and I enjoy that feeling. I also love CNC, so any level of confused enjoyment is a turn-on for me. Considering the socially ingrained shame that many men feel about enjoying anal stimulation, providing space and safety for them to let go and embrace that in my presence is very mentally arousing. I also enjoy feeling powerful, particularly in the Bratty dynamic I share with my husband. It can be fun to feel like I’m in control while simultaneously knowing I will very likely be punished for it. I certainly am not alone either, given that at least 40% of women say they regularly have fantasies about the act. When I asked my husband what he liked about it, he quoted the physical pleasure it provides and how the negative stigma that’s commonly placed around it makes it feel ‘naughty’ and ‘taboo’ he also enjoys seeing me in a different light, the manic dominance is enjoyable for him to see and give in to. As you can see there are many different reasons it is enjoyed and if some of these have peaked your interest, then strap up; and strap on!

How to do it?

as with any anal stimulation, all the same rules apply; I have a full blog on anal play if you want more information but here are my best tips for successful pegging experience:

1. Explore the mental aspects first: connect to why you want this experience, is it about the physical stimulation, is it about exploration of the body, is it about Domination or submission, is there any particular elements you want to include? Connecting to what it is that is attractive to you in the act will help you communicate with your partner to ensure those elements are included in the experience.
2. Consume porn on the topic. This will also help you discover if it is just a mental attraction to somthing within the act or whether you actually desire the act to happen. Sometimes the reality is different to the fantasy and we end up preferring to keep the act a fantasy. Porn won’t tell us for sure but seeing the act in action will indicate. Additionally it will show things like positions that can be used and give us visual representation of what the act entales. Just be cautious about the porn chosen as alot of porn is unrealistic. I do have videos on this act on my platforms as an option.
3. Try the ‘Amazon’ position. The Amazon position is a sex position where it is still a penis in the vagina; however, the penis owner’s position is very submissive in nature, and the vagina owner is thrusting in the same way they would if pegging. This can help you both feel the psychology of the experience before adding the physical pegging act.
4. Communicate, communicate, communicate: pegging is an act of trust and connection, talk as much as possible so both of you feel as safe as possible
5. To duche or not to duche: I personally perfer to duche when recieving anything in my ass. It allows me to relax more as i’m not worried about mess.
6. Start small: The sphincter muscles in the back door take a little time to get used to being opened in the other direction, and it can take a little work for us to mentally connect with that muscle and allow it to relax and accommodate. Starting small is really important, and I suggest before entering at all to try acts such as rimming, finger stimulation or using an external vibrator to support connecting to the enjoyment of prostate stimulation. This prevents clenching, which can cause pain; it’s all about being as relaxed as possible.
7. Use lots and lots of compatible lube. The anus is not self lubricating and so this is probably the most important aspect of anal play. Depending on the type of toy and if you are using condoms or not will impact what lube is most suitable. There are anal specific lubes that are usually thicker, helping them to last longer, and sometimes have numbing or relaxing agents in them
8. Invest in quality equipment. A quality strap and dildo can make a significant difference in the experience. I enjoy ‘Strap-on-me’ as they have an adjustable and quality strap that is also compatible with a toy that simultaneously stimulates me too for mutual enjoyment. When exploring anal its important to use toys with flared bases so that they don’t get stuck in the body so bare this in mind.
9. Go slowly, stimulate the mind and body, communicate and ensure you have check in’s or safe words if either of you want to stop
10. Prepare for possible emotions post: you may feel euphoric and excited, but there is also a possibility that there will be some uncomfortable feelings to process due to our inner stigma being challenged; understanding this as a possibility and having an aftercare plan to soothe this may be helpful.

Final Peg Aways

So there you have it. In conclusion, most of us want to try it, most of us haven’t. It’s my hope that this blog does a little work to close the gap and more of us get to experience the desires we hold ourselves from in a safe way.

What are your thoughts? Come to my paid platforms to share them or seek advice! Love always,

Alice x