‘he pulled out to go back in the front and we were both covered in poo’- the statement I saw on a mum forum that immediately inspired this blog post. Sometimes as a sex educator it can feel like im teaching people to suck eggs, that people might be frustrated by what might be deemed as basics, but the truth is for many people out there this isn’t basic. We aren’t taught about pleasure in sex education and so anal is a topic rarely mentioned, but actions like the one mentioned can have dire consequences such as infection or worse! So here are the basics of enjoying anal.
Do you want to do it? Why some people enjoy anal:
For some the bum is an exit only hole, which is completely valid. You should never feel pressured to engage in anal by porn, media or a partner. I personally enjoy anal, sometimes even more than vaginal sex, because it feels naughty, there’s an element of novelty and submission that I enjoy and also because it is further away from my external clitoris I am able to stimulate that easier than when having vaginal sex , and that supports me in orgasming easier. For AMAB people there is also the ability to stimulate the prostate that can be incredibly pleasurable. There are a multitude of reasons why people enjoy it or want to explore it but it is worth checking in with yourself what those reasons are. Are they internal reasons that you feel excited and open to. or are they external pressures that feel scary? Decisions should always come from within.
to prep or not to prep
When it comes to the backdoor, shit happens. It is, after all, what it is for. Some people are perfectly ok with a little mess, or even enjoy it. For others that is an absolute mood ruiner. If you are the latter using a douche or enema an hour or so prior to play to clean out the area generally is enough to keep things squeaky clean. Having a healthy diet also will keep things in a nice firm scheduled release.. if you get what I’m saying haha. At the end of the day if you stick something in there there is always a risk of something coming out, so no shaming yourself or others if it does happen.
Essential knowledge
- Never go back to front (anal to vaginal) also known as double dipping. This is a recipe for infections of all sorts and some people have needed IV antibiotics or worse. If you absolutely do want to, wear a condom, wash and change condoms in between switching.
- if playing with toys make sure they have a flared base. The bum has a real skill for sucking things up to places where they cannot be retrieved. Many a people have ended up in A and E requiring surgical removal of said items. Flared bases prevent this from happening.
- Use a thick water based lube and lots of it. The anus is not self lubricating and anal is just not fun without wetness. Make sure the selected lube works with any protection or toys you are using as some break down silicone and latex
- Start small; don’t have eyes bigger than your hole. It takes time to work up to the bigger sizes, a finger, a small training butt plug or some anal beads are perfect to start with.
- Communicate with your partner your STI status and use protection. STI’s can still be transmitted via anal so please be aware and take precautions.
- Go slow; take things slowly, allow your body to get used to it, and stimulate other areas to increase pleasure.
- If you need to stop, stop. Don’t feel pressured to enjoy it, anal isn’t for everyone, if you don’t like it, don’t do it.
It doesn’t have to be all or nothing, you can enjoy rimming, touching the outside, having a plug in, using vibration, fingers, toys or crazy depth trainers. You can enjoy it solo or with a partner, it can be sensual and intimate or a fun part of a sub Dom game such as having to wear a plug for an extended period as a punishment. There is so much you can do but exploring your body, learning its pleasures and getting to know what you like and how you like it is always a good thing. I hope this blog has provided the basis of safe exploration. I have a video how to on my paid sites if you need a more in depth lesson. As always I’m here if you have any questions. Please consider subscribing to support me and never miss out on learning more.
Love Alice
Alice Lovegood
A Sex Educator, life coach and spicy content creator, Alice wants to open up the conversation around sex and intimacy and help you feel at home in your body, celebrated and valued exactly as you are.
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