According to the largest study on sexual fantasies by Dr. Justin Lehmiller, more than 95% of people have fantasized about group play or threesomes. Last week, my partner of 9 years and I had the chance to live out this fantasy on film for everyone to enjoy. In this blog, I’ll share my thoughts, feelings, and advice on our experience exploring group play, along with tips for anyone curious about bringing this fantasy to life.

My first tip is to be wholly confident in your relationship and ability to communicate with each other. It isn’t all roses as you will come to read and it’s important to be able to communicate effectively so to not cause issues in your relationship, if you are doing this as an attempt to fix or spice up a relationship that already has issues, don’t, it will only make things messier.

My second tip is to be choosy with who you choose to unicorn or dragon for you. Unicorn being a woman joining an established relationship and dragon being a man. I had chosen someone who I had a fantastic friendship with and who was experienced in unicorning. That way there was no competivity, no thoughts of me worrying she would want to ‘steal my man’ or judgement and her taking the lead in checking in. I couldn’t of picked someone better and she made us feel so relaxed and safe, so really be choosy about your extra.

My third tip is to experiment with porn first. Watch porn with your partner or have them watch while you play, to get used to them looking at someone else, this might crop up any feelings or challenges that may come pre the actual event and help you decide if its actually for you.

Safe word; Have a safe word/ look or action you can use to communicate if you are uncomfortable, have a plan for If this happens, this is something we used as I will discuss.

Save something for you and have a reclamation session; post the event, debrief and after care, make time for sex for just you two. Reclaim each other and have an act that is exclusive for you to, in our case it was a cream pie.

Finally and most importantly; talk, talk, talk, there’s no such thing as over communication. Debrief with each other and work through any feelings that may come.

And remember, it’s ok if it’s also not for you, it’s not for everyone.

My partner and I did two scenes with our unicorn, one general threesome and then a cucking scene where I watched played and filmed as they had sex. The threesome was absolutely incredible. I loved seeing my partner as his full self in ecstasy, I loved the feeling of ‘giving permission’ and showing off how good he is at sex. I loved feeling like I was the best wife ever sharing and I loved connecting and sharing sex with another person. I had no feelings of jealousy and genuinely was having a fantastic time. 100% will be doing this again.

The cucking scene however was a little different. I did enjoy it but there was one specific part where my partner cupped peaches face as she was giving him oral and said ‘you’re so good at that’, I had just orgasmed and I think a combination of post nut clarity and feelings of competitiveness and inferiority made me feel a little negative. Peach was quick to check in though and switch positions, I joined in with toys and was able to still enjoy the finish. My partner and I had fantastic aftercare discussions and it helped me realise the feelings were from past traumas where not being the best at something made be feel unsafe, we worked through this together and also had the most incredible reclamation sex where I repeatedly told him he was mine.

On sharing my experience online many told me that it wasn’t ok to feel those feelings and it made me realise how as humans we are so avoidant of any negative emotions. You cannot avoid negative emotions in life, I am happy to experience every wave of different emotion that comes with being a human. If instead of being taught to avoid, we were taught how to process and feel, how much healthier a world we would live in. I hope by sharing my experiences that might help that happen.

Have you ever added another in the bedroom? What was your experience? Our next will be a BBG scene and maybe a party. Very exciting. Subscribe to the blog for updates or alternatively check out the 18+ link to watch the experience.

Love always,

Alice x