So, you’ve been following my content and realized, ‘Wow, I might be kinky!’ Or as my little community affectionately calls it, a ‘Roman’ (thanks to an auto-caption mishap with the word ‘wrong’en’—and now it’s a thing). Welcome, fellow kink enthusiast! We’re about to dive into a world of fun and exploration. Whether you’re new to the kink community or just curious about trying something different, you’re in the right place.

But now what? You ask. How do I find other people like me? I’m going to tell you.

1. Fet Life; This wonderful kinky website is a place where you can create a profile, explore your kinks, contribute to forum discussions and perhaps most importantly, find local events.
2. Munches; Local non sexual social events for kinky people! Munches are a wonderful way to get into the scene and you can find local ones listed on Fet Life.
3. Alternative markets like Swamp, BBB, LAM. If you are an anxious person this is an opportunity to view from the sidelines without the pressure to immediately socialise.
4. Other Kink events; most of the kinky friends I have made have come from workshops and talks. One of my favourites was a conscious Kink workshop by A tantric kink Practitioner called Sarah, who will be training me as a tantric kink practitioner in September when I hope to pass on the love by doing my own workshops. I also have attended seed talks, and festivals such as ourgasm, which were all full of wonderful kinky people and fun.
5. The Feeld app; dating for kinksters. This app is great as it allows you to list your interests and is more accepting of various different relationship dynamics such as polyamory or swinging.
6. Fabswingers; another website for seeking, great for those that want to swing/ unicorn or dragon or just have kinky hookups
7. Parties and events; I wouldn’t delve straight into parties if you are beginning in the scene as it can be overwhelming but there are some established events for when you’re ready according to your tastes. Killing kittens for example is a sex even for fairly corporate wear, whereas torture garden is for the fetish lovers and has a strict fetish dress code.
8. Finally, my advice to find like minded people is to be somewhat open about it. I’m not saying to tell all your secrets, but by being open about your kinkiness when the topic arrises you are not only doing your part to reduce shame, you will also naturally attract people of a similar attitude. Sure some close minded vanillas might get the ick, but that’s their loss. Anyone who doesn’t accept you for you, is not worth your time or energy.

So there you have it, my list. Do you have any other ways? I would love to hear them. Feel free to connect with me on my socials. I do my best to answer although I am very busy so if you have a burning desire to talk I always reply on my paid sites which you can find on the 18+ link above.

Love always,

Alice Lovegood x

Alice Lovegood

A Sex Educator, life coach and spicy content creator, Alice wants to open up the conversation around sex and intimacy and help you feel at home in your body, celebrated and valued exactly as you are.

Learn more