Since launching the better sex blog and putting myself out there as a sex educator and life coach the single most common question i’ve been asked is men asking how they can last longer. There are methods and we will get to them but I first want you to learn that penis in vagina really is a very small part of sex, there is so so much more to it, and just that knowledge will put you miles ahead of a person that lasts ages but doesn’t know what they are doing.
Put it this way, lesbians don’t even have a penis and lesbian sex is some of the very best i’ve had. The VERY best sex i’ve had has lengthy build up, teasing, foreplay, conversation, massage, hot steamy sex with mouths and fingers and toys, rest periods with cuddles and strokes, gazing into each others eyes, breathing each other in, before we get worked up and start all over again. The problem isn’t that you don’t last very long, the problem is that you see the male orgasm as the finish, and therefore the most important part, that is the problem.
The next time you want to have sex and are worried about not lasting long I want you to completely remove your penis from the interaction. No penetration allowed, just everything else, it is singularly and soley about them. Use your mouth and hands and toys and words to get them to climax (preferably more than once) and see that the very best sex is about connection and power and intimacy, not a penis in a vagina.
I also want to reiterate that most women do not want to be going for hours. I much prefer a long warm up and then 5-10 mins of actual penetrative sex, you would be surprised how long it feels like in the moment. The long sessions I have had in the past have sometimes left me sore and when watching back content i’ve created I generally start asking for them to cum after 5-10 mins of penetrative sex, i’m ready for cuddles and snacks at that point haha. The average penis owner lasts just about that, conveniently, so if you’re in that ball park, let go of the idea that you are premature, you are not.
Now if you want to last longer not because of insecurity but because you just want longer sex then I do have tips for you. They have helped my partner to last longer so give them a try and see if they help.

1. Edging; edging is when you take your self to the point of nearly climaxing and then stop and wait for a while, you can pause and kiss, pause and perform oral on them, change positions ect. When you eventually do orgasm is will be far more intense so this is really fun.
2. Thinking of something unsexual such as maths or football, the distraction can help you last longer
3. Masturbation a couple hours before sex
4. improving your eating habits and exercising
5. Take breaks, cuddle, use a toy, perform oral, use your hands, engage in kink, or do something else for a while.
6. Finally the most important one IF YOU CUM AND SHE HASN’T continue with a toy or hands or mouth until she has. Now if my partner does cum he will hold me, kiss me, go down on me, use toys on me, until I cum and this has been the single biggest improvement in our 9 years of sex together. You never know you might get excited watching your partner enjoy themselves and be able to go all over again!

I hope these tips helped, if they did don’t forget to sign up to receive these direct into your inbox as well as deals and exclusive content. If you want more one on one explicit interaction and advice check out my link page.

Alice Lovegood

A Sex Educator, life coach and spicy content creator, Alice wants to open up the conversation around sex and intimacy and help you feel at home in your body, celebrated and valued exactly as you are.

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